Apparently, I blinked and, the month of June is coming to a close. Did someone out in space flip a switch that makes time go on super speed? If we could slow it down, would we? Or do we just have to let it keep moving and say ‘someday I’ll get there and do that”? Then watch the next month on the calendar turn and wonder what just happened.
On my recent trip to Connecticut, I had a jam packed itinerary of people to see and places to go. We were there for a family wedding and then from there things just spiraled and somehow ended with pizza and Foxon Park sodas at a picnic table by the harbor. One of my most cherished memories of those 4 days.
Oh, and I returned from that trip to the birth of my first grandchild. I’m starting to be at a loss for words by just how many great things decided to happen all at once. The person in space who is making time go fast, is the same person who is up there aligning all the stars for so much happiness!
Getting older is hard enough, but getting older at this, faster than the speed of light, pace, I’m not a fan.
Saying goodbye comes to mind. The visits go fast, then time seems to slow for just a little bit when you are gathered with family and friends in a hotel lobby, kitchen or driveway and you start saying goodbye. Whatever happens to time at that moment, I’m grateful. It let’s me process a bit of the meaning of everything. However, I notice I never say goodbye, I’m a big ‘see you later’ person when that time comes. It’s my coping mechanism. Keeps me from crying too much.
Within minutes of that ‘goodbye’ scene, thanks to technology, I’m in my car or on a plane sending texts and pictures and keeping everything going as if I never had to leave. The time will keep flying I suppose but my memories remain stored inside me forever.
A photo op! (Photo cred AJ DeLeo, my son & great photographer)
I’m in a “New York State of Mind”, it might last for a “New York Minute”, “New York, New York, it’s up to you New York”. I call this my love letter to the city that never sleeps, well, because it’s my take on New York City, which was a character in my book of life for 50+ years. My earliest memories begin in the early 70’s, being on a Metro North train coming home from the circus that was at Madison Square Garden, with that swingy circus flashlight around my neck. However, here I am (picture below) in 1968 on my very first trip to New York. My parents took us 3 girls on The Circle Line that went around the Statue of Liberty. While I don’t remember this, I know it because my Mom also snapped a pic of the statue and it sits proudly in my photo album as future memories to be made of my many visits to this city of hopes and dreams wash over me.
Hopes and dreams. Somehow every time I would sit on yet another Metro North train to head into Grand Central Station, that’s what a small part of me always felt, hopeful and dreamful.
1970s, wild times for this pre-teen/teen girl. Times Square was a bit of a hotbed of activity to say the least, but here I am walking the streets — with my Mom & Dad and family friends, like nothing in the world could phase any of us. We had a mission. We had to get to the circus, the ice show, and even Grease on Broadway, 1977! Red light district be damned! It was New York, it was the 70’s, it was everything exciting. I never had a dream of being on Broadway, so don’t worry, this doesn’t head in that direction. I just enjoyed Broadway shows, for 2 hours, to be transported to a stage of singing and dancing while taxi cabs flew by at some sort of speed and anger found on another planet, yet this was perfectly normal daily functioning.
1980s, more Broadway shows. Now I’m with my high school honors English class. I don’t know if I took honors English, but I signed up for the bus trips to New York. Then again, in the 2000’s with my son’s drama club. I wasn’t signed up for high school drama either since I was in my 40’s, he was, but I sure as sh*t was signed up for the bus trips in for ‘dinner’ and a ‘show’. It was too good of a deal to pass up. As the years went by, any deal, any reason, any time it was sunny, any time it was rainy, just anytime, going to New York filled me with joy.
Concerts, plays, museums, oh my. Walking blocks because I just loved walking and people watching. Sitting at a park, drinking a cold lemonade on a very hot day. Hearing the horns blare, the ‘hey buddy’ out the window, the smell of hot dog carts and chestnuts, the crowds, the lights, the tree (of course, THE tree), sights and sounds for miles.
I stumbled upon movie sets. Watched Jennifer Lopez film a scene for Maid in Manhattan and Vanessa Williams filming a scene for Ugly Betty at the fountain at Central Park. Saw Lucy Liu shopping for shoes at Aldo and Anderson Cooper popping up from a subway station in the village.
However, I think the biggest attraction for me, was that every time, I felt like I was somebody. I was the photographer, I was the journalist, I was the actor in my own play, I was the food connoisseur/critic, I was the travel blogger, I was the Carrie Bradshaw at Magnolia Bakery, yep did that. I was Audrey Hepburn having breakfast at Tiffany’s, yep, did that too!
For now, I see my last time there was in August of 2022. My husband and I wanted to go one more time before we moved to Florida. We had one of the best days just walking around Central Park, getting hot dogs from the carts, and chatting with random people by the lake while we watched them paddle by on the boats, all full of hopes and dreams too. I think that’s the magic of New York — you can do everything and absolutely nothing, but you can do it all while being full of hopes and dreams. I think I need to plan another visit in my future. My slip-on Skechers aren’t done yet walking the city streets of New York.
So happy I took photos at my childhood home before it got cleaned out.
In this photo, I see walls, but I hear voices. I see appliances, but I smell really good meals. I see empty chairs, but I see my family in them. I see that wine glass cabinet, I can hear the cork being taken from another bottle (or cap). I see a sink, but I hear the water running off the last of the holiday dishes. I see the bird clock, I hear the bird chirp on the hour. I see the tea kettle, I hear it whistling from the other room. Tea with Mom. Tea with Mom.
I am welled up with tears, choked up by my own memories. I don’t like change but I have no choice. It’s part of the cycle, I get that. Doesn’t mean I have to like it, I will accept it.
I see a closed door. I see a new hand on the knob, opening it to discover their hopes and dreams that await them. I hope they have many good memories someday too.
A peek 👀 into what I’ll be up to the next 3 days while I’ll be on a mini break from my full time job.
Early morning & evening walks, bike rides and some relaxing pool time are in the line up, as well as:
1. Reading – I’ve heard a lot about this book, “Real Americans” by Rachel Khong. I’ve received it recently from my Book of the Month Club. I’ll be diving into it a bit this weekend.
2. Alternating between my 2 favorite craft hobbies…Paint Gems, these small canvas projects I can finish in about 2 hours and are so relaxing (pictured here is the Doors edition, but the Summer kit should arrive today)! Great for me when I just want to play some 80s background music and dot for a bit. My 2nd craft hobby will be the new latch hook pillow with a pretty flower 🪻 design, great to work on while;
3. Watching 👀 “FEUD: Capote vs. The Swans 🦢 — 2 seasons, 16 episodes on Hulu 📺, as well as while…
4. Listening 🎧 to some episodes I still haven’t listened to of my favorite podcast, The Pop Culture Preservation Society! 🧡🌼
I’ve always wanted to do one of these, reading, doing, watching, listening things, for anyone out there who was just dying to know, now you know!
It’s 6 am, I’m in a half sleep, half awake state of mind. I guess I drift off.
(Dream starts here).
Now I’m in a house, looks a lot like mine but different. My husband is in the main room. I say, “I can’t believe we did it, bought this house, sight unseen.” He says, “yeah, crazy.” So, “did you look in the closets?” “Yes, they left a bunch of old clothes behind in this one”, he says. “Really?, Ugh, OK, I’ll start bagging them up and take them to Goodwill, I guess. What about the 2nd room?” “I don’t know he says, I haven’t looked in there.”
I go in the second room, it’s still set up like a child’s bedroom, very old bedding, smells musty, there’s a desk and the drawers are full of papers, toys – like someone left in a hurry. I slide open the closet doors, cobwebs, dusty. I scan from one side to the next, top to bottom. Old GI Joe’s lined up neatly on a shoe rack, old pillow people, worn, tattered, dusty. Hmmm. I close the closet doors and walk out. I can see I have my work cut out for me.
I sit with my husband in the living room. Now I hear a whimpering sound coming from that 2nd room. Very matter of fact, I walk back in there and there’s a small girl, maybe 10 or so on the bed now, dark hair, pale. I pick her up and take her to the living room. I hold her, I tell everything will be ok. I put her back in her bed, tuck her in and head out. Tell my husband, “how strange is that? There’s a ghost child in our house.” He says, “oh wow, really.”
We go out to the store for a few things, now it gets even stranger. I’m walking around and all of a sudden I have thorns, the thorniest thorns I’ve ever seen growing out of my fingernails. My husband starts uncontrollably doing some odd dance, he can’t stop. People are staring at us. Wouldn’t you? We hear murmuring, we hear “that’s the couple that bought that house”, “The haunted house?”, “Yes, they didn’t research it before they got it, they just dropped all their money on it.”
Research, ok, let me research it – come to find out it’s at the highest most point on the street. If you put a dot right at where the house is and draw 2 diagonal lines, then 2 straight lines to the bottom of the road, it’s clear as day that it sits in the danger zone, the haunted zone, it’s creepy, I’m scared. I don’t know what we are going to do, our life savings. A demon child lives in the house. I tell my husband. He says, “oh wow, really, we can make that work”, and we did. The 3 of them live happily ever after.
I’m sitting here trying to come up with something profound, unique and witty to write about and what pops in my head, why fondue of course!
Then I start thinking about life and how it relates to fondue. I never said this blog would be sensible, I actually never said what this blog would be as I’m still figuring it out as I go!
Looking at this pic I snapped in 2021 while resurrecting the fondue experience at my parents house one cold February afternoon somehow reminded me of aging! One day you feel like a cube of day old bread and one day you feel amazing when you get dipped in hot melted cheese!
Being the day old cubed bread ain’t so bad, people kind of leave you alone, you become indifferent to things that used to worry you, you can sit as quiet and unassuming as you’d like and that’s a good thing, at least I think. But, watch out, because somedays you just want that skinny fork to take you out of your bowl and plunge you into delicious, hot melted cheese, swirl you around and tell the world, guess what, here I am! I’m doing great, I’m happy, I’m vibrant and full of life.
Aging is inevitable.
Stale bread days are just as good as melted cheese days!
In a generation, far, far away, full of bright neon colors & really big hair…lived your grandma & grandpa!
It was a time that doesn’t exist anymore, but it was the best! I’m “Gen X” & your grandpa is a “baby boomer”…basically what that means is we were young & cool once, well, or “like, totally awesome”! (Popular GenX speak).
The internet did not exist. We could not google anything. We only saw a new movie in a movie theatre after finding out where & when it was playing from a newspaper (your Dad will probably still read these). We had telephones in our houses attached to the wall tethered by a cord. We went to McDonalds on dates and walked up to a counter, placed an order with an actual person, not a kiosk.
I am writing this now, so when you are old enough to read it, you can tell Generation Alpha (your generation) all about us. We rode the wave of technology, some of us fared better than others, but we are survivors from a different era. We can now ask “Alexa” for recipes & things, but we do kind of yell a little too loudly at “her”.
I’m here to tell you to have fun, don’t blink because it goes by fast, enjoy the ride and save pictures and memories from all your years ahead. Those never go out of style from one generation to the next. When you look back someday I know you’ll have as many great memories as I’ve been lucky to have! The memories are the glue that holds me together, makes me whole. I cherish them.
Love,
Me from the past (23 years old in the photo below)
Me from the present (58 at the time of this post), and;
Me from the future, who is looking forward to seeing many years through your eyes & making more memories to last the rest of my lifetime!
I’m 21 years old. I have a job at a soundproof room (anechoic chamber) company in Connecticut and they are bidding on a government contract to make soundproof rooms for General Dynamics and the Rancho Cucamonga, CA office needed me to operate the CPT word processor for the proposal. Hell yeah! They sent me on a business trip there.
Maybe that was a big deal, I had no clue. However, I’m in LA Airport flying back to JFK, in the giftshop these 2 “rock stars” walk in & say “damn, something smells good in here”, me & my red & white Hawaiian jumpsuit & white high heel pumps from Thom McAnn, said “oh, I bet that’s me”…I had on Confession (fake Obsession by Calvin Klein)! 🔥 “Damn”, the one, well they both had long hair, said.
I board the flight. They board the flight. They go to the back, the smoking section.
A few hours later we are in New York. I see them at baggage claim. My boyfriend is picking me up. I say “these guys, I think they think they are rock stars, one is even wearing a vest that says Poison on the back, seriously”. Well, my boyfriend (now husband) knows a bit about music, he’s a drummer himself. He recognizes the cases of equipment they are traveling with & he says, “um, yeah, so that’s Rikki Rockett & Bret Michaels from Poison, definitely”.
Well, I’ll be darned, how about that, and now I must go say hi. We chat about which luggage carousel our flights luggage is coming in from (duh, I’m making up conversation here). I get their autographs in my odd little notebook that I would always have with me. They couldn’t have been any nicer. They showed us their itinerary and then they head to MTV to be guest VJs & I head back to Norwalk to keep pushing out anechoic chamber proposals.
I was curious how many signed, not personalized, first edition books I had in my book collection. I have this many (pictured below).
Goldie Hawn, Carol Burnett, Buzz Aldrin, Hillary Rodham Clinton, Julie Andrews, to name drop a few!
I’m at a point in my life where I’m considering selling these. Need to research their value. Some may be worth something, some maybe not so much. The Keith Hernandez book was a gift to my Dad & still has his bookmark in it where he left off, that one remains priceless to me & I will not part with it.
This was a hobby of sorts for me at a different time in life. I had fun going to these book signings. I see hours of long lines, train rides to NYC, drives to NJ, pizza, coffee, sometimes wine! Conversations with these iconic individuals, handshakes, some would do talks & Q&A’s, a lot of memories and now a lot of books on my shelves! No Shakespeare or Mark Twain or Steven King (would’ve loved a signed Steven King but those are hard to get), but a pretty cool collection of a time in my life when I did this a lot.
My mom is 90. I just called her. I’m lucky. I told her, “hey, guess what?”, she said, “what, ugh, this phone, can I turn the sound up?” Anyways, I said, “you know, you were 58 when you had your first grandchild, I’ll be 58 when I have my first”. She said, “wow, isn’t that interesting”. Then she said, “this world today, I don’t know” and “I messed up that word thing (Wordle), again”.
I told her “I want to do a blog post about you for Mother’s Day”. She said, “a what?”. I asked, “before you met Dad, what did you do?”. Mom said, “I worked in New York (for CBS), but the days were long and I just wanted to get home and go to bed, I learned quickly it wasn’t for me”.
Oh and hey, I said, “I was 27 when I had my first child, and you were 27 when you had your first child”. She said, “wow, this is funny how this could go on & on”. Yeah, it’s pretty neat. Then my other line rang & she said “ok bye then”.
Sheils Writes 