One of my favorite pastimes
Sheils Writes
Just an 80's girl in a modern world!
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Record store! -
Looking through old pictures I realize I don’t have any of me doing activities, I was (still am) a quiet person. Growing up I liked craft classes on a Saturday morning, laying on a lounge chair in my backyard flipping through Tiger Beat, Glamour, Mademoiselle or Seventeen magazines, swimming in the above ground pool we were lucky to have (thanks Mom & Dad!), and apparently, as you can tell from this photo, after a swim, reading a book. Who didn’t love V.C. Andrews creepy “Flowers in the Attic” series of young children hidden away in an attic?
Lately, I don’t do this leisurely reading activity. When I was young, I read constantly. Perhaps because there was no internet, shows to binge watch, true crime networks that I get lost in until I fall asleep. I truly loved reading. I miss it.
This weekend I’m going to read a book … there … I’ve put it in writing so now I have to do it. I’ve chosen Kirsty Greenwood’s, “The Love of My After Life”, a lot less morbid than those children in the attic from what I’ve read on the back cover. Words like ‘hilarious’, ‘laughs’ & ‘romantic comedy with added magic’ sounds good to me. Looking forward to escaping into a good book. Soothe my teenage soul that’s still in there somewhere who needs to put her phone on silent, stash the tv remotes in a drawer, and reignite her passion for lazy days just reading a book.
Reading a book. 1980ish. -
Feeling nostalgic seeing all the back to school pics being shared. Grateful for the many I’ve found in my collection of photos from my life.
I was the 3rd (& last) child. There aren’t many photos of me (last child syndrome, big sister, you know you have the most!), but I do seem to find a lot of first day of school pics! I think there’s such a hope surrounding that one day, so much excitement, anxiety, looking forward to seeing friends, new clothes, haircut & lunchbox! Oh, and, possibly learning some good fraction stuff, who doesn’t love fractions?!
In this pic I have a binder! Maybe it was a prop! This is 2nd grade. What does a 2nd grader bring to school today? Hopefully a binder to fill with newfound knowledge as well!
I had no idea at this moment what life would turn me into, but I do remember walking to school with my sister, meeting my teacher & classmates, having recess & going to a speech learning center because I said “spaghetti” … puhs-ghetti … I appreciate the nice special ed (apologize if that’s not politically correct) lady who worked extra with me to straighten that out! I also freed the jail in many games of steal the flag during gym! Not to mention kite day & the silver tuna, the Scholastic Book Fair! A fair for books! It does not get better than that. Well maybe just on parachute day!
Rock it students of today! These are the times of your life! May your lunchboxes be full of tangerines & ring dings & your thermos full of apple juice! It might not contain the amount of sugar mine did, but enjoy every drop!
Back to school! 1972 🌼 -
I can’t help but think about the feeling I get, yet again, still, every Monday morning…I feel like my 8 year old self, as a ballerina dancer, awkward. Confident as sh*t that all is going to go well & on schedule with my morning routine, but then the awkwardness sets in.
5:30 am alarm, ok, but now at 58 years old, the first few stretches aren’t quite those of an 8 year old ballerina. Anyways, from here it can only get better, right?! Wrong. Time to pack the lunch bag, several uncomfortable dance moves have now occurred in my kitchen, my favorite is the plié over the cat who is determined to snarl up my routine.
Wait for it, the big finish, the shower. Here we go. Several twists & turns later, I have some semblance of hair & make up ready & time for my costume. Let’s see, it’ll be something fancy thrown together from the pile barely put away from last Friday after work.
I take my final bow as I head to my car. Another Monday morning awkward dance routine is in the books. Today I scored about a 3 out of 10, but watch out, by the end of the week I’m a disco queen, stay tuned for those moves!
June 1973 -
I’m spiraling. Way too much is happening in way too short amount of time. Did I see Hulk Hogan on tv last night? Kid Rock? Am I in some sort of Alice in Wonderland trip down a rabbit hole? What is going on? Bob Newhart. Shannen Doherty. Richard Simmons. All passing away. A disturbing rendition of our national anthem. Make it stop! Somewhere in the middle of this Amazon hosted their annual Prime Day, which I like to call my own personal “Christmas in July” treat myself to some random item, so check that off the list (pictured below, my fire tablet and keyboard case cover score from that day) – appropriately playing Beverly Hills 90210 on Pluto TV, of course. Oh, and I decided to finally complete my first ever application for a passport, which I’m happy to report is on the other end of the MicroSoft CrowdStrike outage I woke up to this morning. Again, please make it all stop. I think some weeks are better than others. This will be one I need a few days to recover from.
My post menopausal brain is in overload. I understand brain fog, but brain “I have no clue what is happening” is another story. Perhaps I will stay off the tv, except for old episodes of Beverly Hills 90201, well and I know I’ll be binging the Karate Kid on Netflix tonight, Season “I don’t know what will happen this time” – I hope Daniel LaRusso and Johnny Lawrence can bring some sanity to end my week, but that’s a big ask, I know.
Prime Day 2024 -
It’s 2024 I know, but in my head I prefer it to be the 1970’s to 1980’s and I consider this perfectly normal behavior for a 58 year old woman. Every day I like to revisit parts of my childhood, in one small way or another. I may pick up an old book I might’ve read back in those days or snack on a candy (see picture below) that evokes a memory to a simpler time. Honestly, I think that’s what this is all about, just grasping at simpler times.
I have very good memories of the long gone days of the late 1970s to early 1980s. I was a kid. I didn’t have a lot of responsibility. I didn’t know what I wanted to be when I grew up, although I thought maybe an actress or a ballerina seemed like perfectly normal professions (spoiler alert: I became a secretary). I once participated in a Miss Norwalk Seaport competition, however I did not win and this could be where things took a turn and I began to grow-up and out into a world where I became, gulp, responsible (ick). Prior to that life altering moment, I have many great memories of just having fun. Don’t get me wrong, I had fun after that major defeat, I just think it was a telling moment in my life where I knew I needed a different path.
There was no social media back then, no trying to impress my peers. I do remember being genuinely happy back in those days and I think that’s why I want to revisit them more and more as I grow older. Lately, the 24-hour news channels, although I get sucked in, are a bust in my eyes. When I can tune into The Love Boat or Family Ties (thank you Pluto TV) for several hours, I’m much more relaxed. Add in a bowl of Lucky Charms or Froot Loops, a few hours working on an old school craft project and my Trixie Belden books by my side, I’m happiest here and if that works for me, that’s really all that matters.
Simpler times -
I think me and my car are on the same page, we could both use a little “MAINT” (short for maintenance in case you didn’t know).
It’s funny, these read out lights on my dashboard that won’t go away. As I drive to work every day, I try to think what can I write about, as this blog is getting less frequent and ideas aren’t coming to me as quickly as I was hoping. Today, it was like a lightbulb went off, well, or a read out light on a dashboard and the words “MAINT REQD” just staring up at me.
My car is getting older as am I. We are both ready for a reboot. I used to fix problems faster. Now I let them be, maybe they’ll fix themselves. Worrying all these years hasn’t really changed a whole lot of outcomes, I’ve learned. At the end of the day, breathing and moving around seem to still be happening and that seems positive. However, these lights reminded me about my self care ‘toolbox’ and not to forget the main ones, hydrate, sleep, eat healthy and laugh.
I’ll get the car checked, soon, and the tires have plenty of air. The lights just stay on as a reminder to check myself and I appreciate them for that.
Dashboard -
The ending to my story will definitely include the word “happy”….
Why are people so sad? Not everyone, but a lot of people in my direct orbit, seem, well, sad. I don’t spend my days screaming from the rooftops about how happy I am, because I’m not. Sure, it would be great, but it’s not real. However, I do spend part of every day being in some realm of the form happy and I believe many others do, more than they realize.
I’ve spent a lot of years struggling to ‘be happy’ or ride the ‘life is good’ wave, however I’ve stumbled upon more sadness through the years than happiness, so I’m not writing from the clear blue sky here. I’ve had Stage 3 colon cancer at 53 years old, I know what sadness is. While I’m no expert, I do think we’ve got the upper hand on the happiness market. There’s no store where you can go and buy it, there’s no “add to cart” and there, you’ve got it. You just have to make it happen as best you can. Somedays, possibly, fake it ‘til you make it.
I start my day with a big groan, at 5:30 AM. I ache. I go through an odd bunch of wake-up techniques to sort of get revved up again for another day of not ‘doom and gloom’ but ‘ok, this isn’t so bad’ type of life. I don’t spend the next 8 hours of my work days bouncing off the walls full of happiness, but I do have an overall ‘good enough’ feel to my work days, and again, that’s OK for me.
I think we, collectively, are putting too much emphasis on happiness. Like it’s this thing you have to achieve. Chase it, hunt it down, corral it, add it to your chemical make-up and then be it. That’s giving it way too much control. It’s a state of mind, just as much as sadness is a state of mind. Let them marinate throughout the day and do their thing within and around you.
“Don’t let anyone dull your sparkle” is one of my favorite of all the terms. Today, I will find happiness in my 1980s themed life that I live in. Don’t judge, leave me alone, I’m happy there! Tomorrow, I’ll stay in that world and I’ll add in a trip to the beach, at night, when no one is there and it’s not crowded. Again, don’t judge, leave me alone, I’m happy there! Throughout every day, I’ll snap pics of blue skies, I’ll read for 5 minutes (my attention span lately for reading), I’ll take a walk or a bike ride, I’ll sit by the pool. None of these are saying ‘wow, she’s got to be so happy, look at her’, and I don’t want them to say that to anyone. I will be happy doing these things and that’s good enough for me.
Think about some of this, if you’ve read to the end, my one or two faithful readers. I hope you can start enjoying some parts of your days on this earth. If we are granted another day on this earth, we have to keep going. Why not make your own happy ending to your story to the best of your ability. Only you can do that, no one can do it for you.
Signed,
Me & my happiness team of, well, me!
You are your happiness team, no one else
Happiness is a toy store! 🩷🌺📚📸🌞 -
Apparently, I blinked and, the month of June is coming to a close. Did someone out in space flip a switch that makes time go on super speed? If we could slow it down, would we? Or do we just have to let it keep moving and say ‘someday I’ll get there and do that”? Then watch the next month on the calendar turn and wonder what just happened.
On my recent trip to Connecticut, I had a jam packed itinerary of people to see and places to go. We were there for a family wedding and then from there things just spiraled and somehow ended with pizza and Foxon Park sodas at a picnic table by the harbor. One of my most cherished memories of those 4 days.
Oh, and I returned from that trip to the birth of my first grandchild. I’m starting to be at a loss for words by just how many great things decided to happen all at once. The person in space who is making time go fast, is the same person who is up there aligning all the stars for so much happiness!
Getting older is hard enough, but getting older at this, faster than the speed of light, pace, I’m not a fan.
Saying goodbye comes to mind. The visits go fast, then time seems to slow for just a little bit when you are gathered with family and friends in a hotel lobby, kitchen or driveway and you start saying goodbye. Whatever happens to time at that moment, I’m grateful. It let’s me process a bit of the meaning of everything. However, I notice I never say goodbye, I’m a big ‘see you later’ person when that time comes. It’s my coping mechanism. Keeps me from crying too much.
Within minutes of that ‘goodbye’ scene, thanks to technology, I’m in my car or on a plane sending texts and pictures and keeping everything going as if I never had to leave. The time will keep flying I suppose but my memories remain stored inside me forever.
A photo op! (Photo cred AJ DeLeo, my son & great photographer) -
I’m in a “New York State of Mind”, it might last for a “New York Minute”, “New York, New York, it’s up to you New York”. I call this my love letter to the city that never sleeps, well, because it’s my take on New York City, which was a character in my book of life for 50+ years. My earliest memories begin in the early 70’s, being on a Metro North train coming home from the circus that was at Madison Square Garden, with that swingy circus flashlight around my neck. However, here I am (picture below) in 1968 on my very first trip to New York. My parents took us 3 girls on The Circle Line that went around the Statue of Liberty. While I don’t remember this, I know it because my Mom also snapped a pic of the statue and it sits proudly in my photo album as future memories to be made of my many visits to this city of hopes and dreams wash over me.
Hopes and dreams. Somehow every time I would sit on yet another Metro North train to head into Grand Central Station, that’s what a small part of me always felt, hopeful and dreamful.
1970s, wild times for this pre-teen/teen girl. Times Square was a bit of a hotbed of activity to say the least, but here I am walking the streets — with my Mom & Dad and family friends, like nothing in the world could phase any of us. We had a mission. We had to get to the circus, the ice show, and even Grease on Broadway, 1977! Red light district be damned! It was New York, it was the 70’s, it was everything exciting. I never had a dream of being on Broadway, so don’t worry, this doesn’t head in that direction. I just enjoyed Broadway shows, for 2 hours, to be transported to a stage of singing and dancing while taxi cabs flew by at some sort of speed and anger found on another planet, yet this was perfectly normal daily functioning.
1980s, more Broadway shows. Now I’m with my high school honors English class. I don’t know if I took honors English, but I signed up for the bus trips to New York. Then again, in the 2000’s with my son’s drama club. I wasn’t signed up for high school drama either since I was in my 40’s, he was, but I sure as sh*t was signed up for the bus trips in for ‘dinner’ and a ‘show’. It was too good of a deal to pass up. As the years went by, any deal, any reason, any time it was sunny, any time it was rainy, just anytime, going to New York filled me with joy.
Concerts, plays, museums, oh my. Walking blocks because I just loved walking and people watching. Sitting at a park, drinking a cold lemonade on a very hot day. Hearing the horns blare, the ‘hey buddy’ out the window, the smell of hot dog carts and chestnuts, the crowds, the lights, the tree (of course, THE tree), sights and sounds for miles.
I stumbled upon movie sets. Watched Jennifer Lopez film a scene for Maid in Manhattan and Vanessa Williams filming a scene for Ugly Betty at the fountain at Central Park. Saw Lucy Liu shopping for shoes at Aldo and Anderson Cooper popping up from a subway station in the village.
However, I think the biggest attraction for me, was that every time, I felt like I was somebody. I was the photographer, I was the journalist, I was the actor in my own play, I was the food connoisseur/critic, I was the travel blogger, I was the Carrie Bradshaw at Magnolia Bakery, yep did that. I was Audrey Hepburn having breakfast at Tiffany’s, yep, did that too!
For now, I see my last time there was in August of 2022. My husband and I wanted to go one more time before we moved to Florida. We had one of the best days just walking around Central Park, getting hot dogs from the carts, and chatting with random people by the lake while we watched them paddle by on the boats, all full of hopes and dreams too. I think that’s the magic of New York — you can do everything and absolutely nothing, but you can do it all while being full of hopes and dreams. I think I need to plan another visit in my future. My slip-on Skechers aren’t done yet walking the city streets of New York.
NYC from 1968 to 2022
Sheils Writes 